How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both , treated it as one in which women were clearly the losers, seduced by false promises of liberation and left vulnerable to exploitative casual sex, regret and heartache. Which is it, then? Are college girls confidently pursuing the happy hookup or unhappily submitting to male exploitation while pining for true love? The answer, most likely, is that neither narrative is quite true. The sexual environment on many campuses certainly has its unsavory and damaging aspects—but the damage and discontent are by no means limited to women. A mere six percent of male respondents and three percent of female respondents claimed to have had sex with six or more people.


Women control access to sex. A promiscuous culture or norm cannot exist without the participation of women. It is women who have driven down the price of sex since the Sexual Revolution, not men. She attends a business school midweek happy hour.

Some, like Atlantic writer Hanna Rosin, see hookup culture as a boon: “The hookup culture is bound up with everything that’s fabulous about being a young woman in —the freedom, the.

Email During a class discussion on adolescence, a high school teacher recently asked her students whether they go on dates. We don’t “date,” the 12th graders reported. But to people in their teens or 20s, the phrase often means a casual sexual encounter — anything from kissing onwards — with no strings attached. Now a new book on this not-so-new subject is drawing fire in some quarters for its conclusion: That hookups can be damaging to young women, denying their emotional needs, putting them at risk of depression and even sexually transmitted disease, and making them ill-equipped for real relationships later on.

For that, Laura Sessions Stepp, author of “Unhooked” and a writer for The Washington Post, has been criticized as a throwback to an earlier, restrictive moral climate, an anti-feminist and a tut-tutting mother telling girls not to give the milk away when nobody’s bought the cow. The author “imagines the female body as a thing that can be tarnished by too much use,” wrote reviewer Kathy Dobie in Stepp’s own paper, and suggested that Stepp was, in one part, trying to “instill sexual shame.

True, she regrets that “dating has gone completely by the boards,” replaced by group outings that lead to casual encounters. True, she regrets that oral sex “isn’t even considered sex anymore.

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Young women, she says, are more focused on their careers and education now, and they use hookups as a way of avoiding relationships which might hold back their other goals. Rosin shows that hookup culture is age-specific; it is a 20s and early 30s phenomenon, and many people do want to get married, just not yet. Rosin also emphasizes that there is no great divide in how men and women view hookup culture.

This paragraph really struck me: But this analysis downplays the unbelievable gains women have lately made, and, more important, it forgets how much those gains depend on sexual liberation.

The hook-up culture is the patrician version of inner-city promiscuity—without the immediate and dire consequences. Hooking Up, Marquesan Style Sex outside of marriage is as old as the hills.

Everything else is these days. I remember when tragedies brought even political opponents together in what seemed potentially like a learning moment about our shared humanity being larger than the differences of opinions, beliefs and ideas that divide us. Nor did it when Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and eighteen others were shot in a Tuscon, Arizona supermarket parking lot in January during a routine gathering of citizens meeting their congressional representative.

One of the six people who died in that shooting was a nine year old girl who was born on September 11, President Obama referred to her several times in his speech at the Together We Thrive: Tucson and America memorial on January 12, White House staffers conferred with religious advisers about biblical passages the president might use in the speech to speak to a nation jarred to the core. But at the core there was still — at that point in our relatively recent history — the need to connect worldly events with spiritual aspirations.

Obama decided to quote from the Book of Job and Psalm And he did so to acknowledge and grieve the occasion when six people were killed and Rep. In his remarks after the tragedy in January , Obama remarked that people were seeking to make sense out of the senseless by debating issues like gun safety laws and the breakdown of the mental health treatment system. This is good to remember as we go through tragedy after mind-numbing tragedy, and political discourse is growing more unkind, uncharitable, accusatory, harsh, intolerant, divisive, and scornful of religion.

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Intellectual and self-indulgent meditations on feminism and femininity. Monday, April 1, Sure, Blame Feminism for the Hook-up Culture Interesting article in The Atlantic magazine today about how interviewer Freitas determined the hook-up culture is not all that it’s cracked up to be. It argues that hooking up is, well, boring most of the time, or leads to unsatisfying sex. How are people supposed to get good at sex if all of their experience are drunken one-night stands?

Stereotypes aside the article features much anecdotal evidence, if no statistics , it’s an interesting way of giving people and excuse to opt-out of the hook-up culture without seeming like a Puritanical prude. It reminds me of something god help me Stephanie Meyer once said about Edward and Bella’s relationship before all the BDSM of their marriage night ,”I get some pressure to put a big sex scene in,” Meyer says.

Sep 13,  · One author has suggested that the hook up culture works fine now for women (and men are happy to comply). In The Atlantic, Hanna Rosin recently defended the hookup culture as essential to female success and equality.

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And the Rise of Women is coming out next month, and the Atlantic is previewing it in its September issue with Rosin’s piece about the so-called hookup culture that has conservatives in a decade-long huff and much of the media in a sex panic. The typical assumption about hookup culture is that it’s something men imposed on women, exploiting modern contraceptives and sexual liberty to get away with having sex with women without having to commit or do anything icky, such as pretend to like them.

The narrative has always sat uneasily with me, as it’s based on the presumption women are so foul men will only put up with them to get sex. So, I was stoked to discover Rosin’s research led her to conclude women aren’t being victimized by delusions of feminism and the men taking advantage of them. On the contrary, Rosin believes women perpetuate the hook-up culture.

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Can women have sex like men? That query was questionably relevant even a decade and a half ago, when Sex and the City sought to answer it for something urban professionals. But the practice of telling college-aged women how we should lead our romantic lives is patronizing, condescending, and — above all — needs to stop. When it comes to the reasoning behind their shared thesis, however, both Rosin and Taylor start to go off the rails. Rosin characterizes monogamous relationships as a risk:

As a professor of psychology (first author) at a moderately sized public university in the mid-Atlantic region, I teach and conduct research with graduate students (second and third authors) on gender and sexuality including hooking up and the sexual double standard.

TylerMilborn Bios are gay. In any event, the death of men has been greatly exaggerated. To call The End of Men a substantial academic work — or just an academic work — would be a mischaracterization. If only that were true. This book has a broad scope. It touches on changing sexual dynamics, marriage and the workforce, the raising of children, and even violence.

There may not be much of debate as to whether gender-based roles in marriages and relationships are changing they are, unfortunately or whether women participate more in the workforce than they did in the s they do. To really understand this book you have to first know its author. You can read her at Slate, The Atlantic, and various other publications. The End of Men makes clear that Rosin is a moderately savvy, albeit clumsy, writer who has no problem with manipulating data and anecdotes to support her conclusions.

But before we get there, let me give you two examples of how Rosin thinks men are doing in this new world: And regarding Office Space, she ignores what the film has to say about the soul-crushing monotony of life in a cubicle so she can fit the rebellion of the men into her feminist slant. They are faults in her logic and interpretation, cracks that reveal significant and deeper flaws in the book.

And these flaws are serious.

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The easy response to this latest NYT addition to the hook-up culture canon would be to refer readers back to my own foray into the subject, my minutes-of-Internet-fame: I mean, I already lived that particular hell. But there is an increasing realization that young women are propelling it, too. Their interactions with men range from consensual casual sex to unwanted hook-ups that just sort of happened. No one does the relationship thing anyway. So I actually have three cents to throw down here.

3 days ago · Despite the easing of taboos and the rise of hookup apps, Americans are in the midst of a sex recession.

By Emma Gray Man holding a woman’s hand and looking at her Texting is the new phone call, “hanging out” is the new dating and coffee is the new “fancy dinner” As a woman who falls squarely in the demographic that the article is discussing, I take issue with it for several reasons: The article doesn’t say anything that hasn’t been said — many, many times before.

Actual quote from “The End of Courtship? It’s as though the Grey Lady’s editorial staff has collectively forgotten every piece written on this subject over the last decade. Just google “texting hurting dating” or “relationships technology” and see the hundreds of articles that show up.

Donna Freitas: Hookup Culture